Spiritual Crocodiles

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Recently, after watching an old seminary video by my church, and since a chat with my friend Elise, I have been thinking quite a bit about the subject of spiritual hurdles, or as the video portrays, crocodiles. When I was a teenager, the kind of "spiritual crocodiles" that I was taught about were things like illegal drugs, immorality, alcoholism, thievery, and the struggle to "fit in". Now that I am an adult, I look back and realize that those temptations mentioned above were never things that I had a difficult time with. I was never tempted to smoke, drink, steal, or to have sex as an unmarried teen; rather, the trials that I have faced and am currently facing are less of a physical aspect and more of an emotional & mental one.

I see that drinking, smoking, and breaking the
law of chastity are problems that are quite prevalent in the world, and it is increasingly important to address those issues and do what we can to educate our children and help prevent regrettable habits; however, I fail to identify with them, and so do many of the people that I know. Because I wasn't like the youth shown in the video, I feel like my needs were looked over in my church classes, as they weren't visible to my leaders & friends; I wasn't struggling outwardly or committing obvious sins, and I wasn't the only one.

Of course, the girls who did have more apparent problems were just as important as I was, and others were. I am grateful that the women who advised us focused on helping them, and I am grateful for the care that I did receive; somehow though, I do wish that girls like me had been taught that our trials are just as important. In my family, we dealt with a lot of abnormal problems, and so my parents did teach me that my pains mattered; at church though, I suffered many lessons in silence, or simply convinced myself that I wasn't a case of needing help like others were.

As an adult, one who still doesn't (and possibly won't ever) struggle with temptations to drink, smoke, or break the fidelity that I have with my husband, I am recognizing more and more how important it is to teach children and youth that just because they don't deal with those cookie-cutter problems, they do matter, and their pain is just as real. The thing is, these problems of drinking & smoking can stem from feelings of worthlessness, incurable pain, and loneliness; yet, I feel that I wasn't taught that important detail as I was growing up. If we want to prevent our youth from going down those paths, we need to teach them from the beginning that they can turn to us, turn to the Lord, and find true peace & relief from their pains without the help of body & mind-numbing substances. If we want to combat these problems, we have to start by helping fix their sources. 

I don't know why this has been weighing so heavily on my mind, but as I think about someday raising my own children, I hope & pray that I will be able to instill in them the knowledge that they and their trials are important to me, to their father, and to their Father in Heaven. It is tragic to see children, youth, men & women drowning in their sorrows, whatever they may be, and I want to help however I can. I know what it is like to want to leave church early or skip it entirely because it is just too painful and I wonder if it is worth going if I'm not going to get anything uplifting from it. I know what it is like to feel like I'm alone. I know what it is like to be in so much mental & emotional torment that I wish I could just die and be relieved. I know what it is like to feel lost & afraid. I know what it is like to have righteous dreams and then have them seemingly crushed before my eyes. These "spiritual crocodiles" are real, important, and potentially harmful.

For the most part, the people in my life did a very good job at teaching me that it is important to ask for help even if my needs seem small. I am grateful for the love and help that I have received all of my life, and I thank my God that I turned out the way that I have and continue to stay on the path that I know is His. I see many who have strayed to different paths partly due to feeling misunderstood and alone. It hurts me to watch that. As I continue to grow and will one day bring children of my own into the world, I desire to pass on the knowledge that they will always be loved & wanted, and that their needs & happiness matters more to me than even my own. I want to do everything that I can to keep them from suffering needlessly. There is a place for adversity & growth, but even in the form of the smallest trouble, there should never be loneliness when it can most certainly be helped.

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